on Sep 24, 2015
thanks for the feedback!
Sep 28, 2015 at 2:59pm
I think Paul hit the nail on the head. Establish world sooner with a little more clarity (yeah, which one are the girls dating?? maybe they're hired by clients??) and keep the story moving.
Another thing to think about is maybe the characters. All the performances were fine but it seems like four of the same character. Just throwing this out there, but maybe if we saw a glimpse of what each of their dating profiles were, we could be more invested in these guys.
Anyway, the style and production value is solid so I really hope to see more submissions from you.
Sep 27, 2015 at 5:49pm
Everything was great except the premise. For me it was a little too confusing, like at the top, we just need the goal stated. I mean I got it, but to carry a 5 minute video we need to be invested in some way. Also I feel like online dating is kinda a well-trod area for parody. For some reason, I recoil at any online dating based video. I'm probably just old.
Sep 27, 2015 at 1:28pm
Loved it. Must be a great month is this got rejected.
Sep 25, 2015 at 12:08pm
I really enjoyed the pilot. It had a lot of clever moments, all four of you guys were fun, the editing was great, and I liked the "hidden profile" bit at the end. In fact, that should have been the first thing that happened in the show. You established the world for 4 minutes, then something happened, then the show ended! It's a pretty clever idea for a show, but no matter how clever the idea is, you have to spin it into a story of some kind.
This isn't a rule, but it always helps the show feel more like a TV series and less like a sketch when you move between locations. Online Daters felt a little cramped since you guys were stuck in the corner of a basement.
There's four characters, so you have the opportunity to jump around between different stories.
Our biggest question was: were they trying to find a date for each guy? Or just one of them? Or all four together?
What helped me was going through the old 101 shows and seeing what worked about the shows that I liked.
I hope you guys submit something for next month!
Sep 24, 2015 at 12:41pm
Would love feedback.
Sep 24, 2015 at 9:17am
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