on Jul 26, 2017
Firstly, Thank you so much for taking the time to watch my submission and leave me some feedback. Greatly appreciated.
1. Sound - Yea, Day of we had some issues with the sound recording equipment that lead to me getting some noise in the shots. I went back in post and cleaned it up as best I could, but some shots, when cleaned up, sounded ‘tinny’. I think I might end up investing in some better equipment and take more care here in the future.
2. Opening - After watching it myself and getting some other feedback, I think the opening is totally ‘draggy’ which brings the whole thing down in energy. Totally agree.
3. Thanks for this insight into the montage. Will do.
Other things: We ended up shooting just one day and it was during that fucking heatwave weekend. Everyone on set was melting and miserable and I ended up getting bare-minimum coverage. I think my most successful stuff has always shot more than just one day and everything I have that’s flopped was shot with just one day. It’s a pain in the ass to get people on multiple days, but I guess that’s what I gotta do moving forward.
Anyways man. Loved your Street Cleaning stuff. I can’t wait to see what you guys do for the months to come.
Jul 31, 2017 at 9:50pm
1. Sound. When you start off with bad sound, you're immediately taken out of it. It sounds like traffic is at the forefront, and it's difficult to pay attention to the dialogue. This problem gets even worse in a theater.
2. I don't think any jokes land in the opening monologue, which is when you want to hook people in.
3. Montage. I love montages, great way to move story, infuse energy and jokes quickly. I don't think this montage takes the full advantage of that. You have them walking, standing at a door, then a series of doors shutting, without much variation. I think you could've had some fun bits with people rejecting them.
4. Smaller problem, but I'd utilize closeups more. It gets boring staring at mostly wides/mediums. Also gives your actors a chance to enhance the material with their performance. Check out this video (sorry if you've seen it) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UE3jz_O_EM
5. Beyond that (I've watched it about 3 times) I just don't think any of the jokes/bits land (but the SI cat made me laugh the first time).
Hope this helps!
Jul 31, 2017 at 9:34pm
Hey Guys! We got rejected again.
If you would be so kind as to watch our submission anyways and leave me a note on how to improve my skills for next time, that'd be great.
Jul 26, 2017 at 3:27pm
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