Rejectee Therapy for January 2018 Rejection - Eat Them!
Started by Matt Moeller on Jan 24, 2018
  • Hi Matt, I think the biggest thing we thought was that your characters seemed a little inconsistent - make sure that they stay true to whoever it is they are, and to make it interesting in a comedy pilot really extrapolate that so the main character can be really boring and unlikeable but make sure he is full on American Psycho if that's what you want, rather than just half-hearted. Also, the audio is a little sketchy at times but I know it's super hard to record clearly when there are passing cars etc.
    Jan 28, 2018 at 9:44am
  • Reading Danny's comment reminded me of something I've read David Chase say a few times (which David Chase got from Stephen Cannell) and is very good writing advice:

    "Your protagonist can be a jerk or a fool but they've got to be the smartest person in the room and good at their job."
    Jan 27, 2018 at 3:09pm
  • KP Parker says:
    Hi Matt! I was on the panel this month! What I think this needed most was a bit more punch. When you have a main character who is pretty low energy the other characters should make up for that or the editing should be faster cuts, etc. There were definitely a lot of long pans and subtle colors which made it a bit hard to stay fully engaged. Keep submitting!!
    Jan 26, 2018 at 9:23pm
  • I was rejected too---so take my critiques with a grain of salt. This is, of course, strictly my opinion, but here ya go...

    The protagonist, off the bat I don't relate to him. He's down on his luck, but he leans more towards pathetic, he's not likeable in any way. Unlikeable can work too I think, like Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network, he's totally unlikeable, but he's so damn smart that's still interesting and you want to see what he does next. I think the biggest problem is with this guy, I don't see any reason to care what he does next. And I'm not sure if it's supposed to be comedic or dramatic.

    I hope you take my words as a sign of respect. If I didn't think it was even worth critiquing I would've just said nothing.

    If you'd like any more specifics let me know. Also if you want you can critique my pilot which is posted in Rejection therapy just one or two posts below this one.

    Thanks,

    -DD
    Jan 24, 2018 at 5:36pm
  • :Sigh: Rejected again. I swear I've been looking at this damn cut for days on end and the whole thing just looks and sounds like mush to me now.

    Kind stranger, leave me some tips, tricks, and anecdotes on how to improve my channel101-fu please? I'd love to screen again one day.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJcLf52HPac
    Jan 24, 2018 at 3:06pm
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