Feedback for "Lost in confusion"
on Jul 25, 2019
It's all good. Believe me, I get the frustration that comes with rejection. Obviously, you have every right to dislike any video you want but just remember before you leave that next comment that they put in as much, if not more, effort as you did to make something.
Good luck with your next submission!
Aug 21, 2019 at 4:34am
my sincere apologies
Aug 20, 2019 at 4:14pm
Looks like I Jon Snowed it...
As in not nowing what is going on.
Thank you for the clarification.
About me being mean, you have to understand that i was pretty pissed after spending so much time crafting little soldier outfits, rank-stripes, a vietnam styled helmet and 3 miniature fire arms and then seeing the rejection e-mail.
Me and my partners (Thomas And Liam, hense BTL) were pretty Dunning-Krugered afetr spending so much time on the same 5 minutes of video. Which was only amplified by not finding the ones that won funny at all.
Bram Stuyven Out
Aug 20, 2019 at 4:08pm
I think one of us doesn't understand the definition of the word nepotism. I was on the panel in October that let the Bachelor Dads in. Nobody on that panel knew who they were. They actually had a pilot in earlier last year but none of us on the panel remembered that. We all groaned at the title because nobody wanted to watch a parody of the Bachelor. And then we watched it and it made us all laugh and it got in. It's not "a fraction of channel 101 kids", it's an ever changing group of people. I just looked at this most recent month's pilots and I don't know most of the creators and I'm pretty tapped into the 101 world. And the live audience that decides which shows come back for another episode are at least half new people that have never attended a 101 screening before. They actually ask before each screening who's new and a lot of hands go up.
I never said you were a radical leftist. I said I was because I didn't want you to dismiss me disliking the humor as being due to my political views. There is no need to "keep the socialist propaganda down".
There's no such thing as Belgian humor and Californian humor. If there was, every pilot made here would be identical. When I say, focus on what you find funny, I mean that as opposed to your asking of Brett of what sort of humor to put into your piece. Make your "Belgian" humor better. Even you admit this pilot sucked, which is why it didn't get in. I'm glad you recognize that the humor isn't landing in the final product as you'd hope it would on paper. That's the creative process for you. Once you finally get things to land the way you intend, then maybe other people will start to like your stuff. I'd say your first priority should be improving your own stuff. Then your second priority can be accusing Channel 101 of nepotism. And then your third priority can be leaving rude comments about another Channel 101 show on the site. Like why do that? What are you gaining by that? Do you feel better insulting their show?
Aug 19, 2019 at 6:37am
How you explained the way the selection works is basically how i then thought it would work. Basically a fraction of channel 101 kids nepotising each other and not being open minded to new kinds of pilots and ways to tell the arc of a character. Like in 'lost in confusion', where the protagonist and the spectator are thrown into an oddyssey lasting a couple of episodes much like 'the bachelors but with dads' and 'fraud', two shows i didn't find funny but the pannel obviuosly did.
If you tell me to focus on what i find funny, then i will never have a pilot that succeeds because my Belgian and your (i assume) Californian humor are just too far apart. If you tell me you got the feeling that i am a radical leftist from watching the pilot then you are correct but for the wrong reasons. If you didn't notice the commentary on the naïve leftist prtoagonist who is thrown into situations he doesn't understand (much like the audiance) then i seem to look at another piece of evidence why our microcultures are too different.
The reason why 'lost in confiusion' sucked (yes i think it was bad too), lays in the fact that there were 5 scenes planned for the pilot that should have added a lot less confusion ironically. Only 2 made it in beacause when writing i couldn't translate pages into minutes yet. That is also the reason whyit seemd so rushed.
Anyway, i want to thank you for being straigh with me, instead of bending the truth to try and not hurt my feelings.I've already sent another sketch, but in the final product the joeks didn't land again whereas they did on paper. I'm working on yet another one, this time with a clear story, 2 characters with an arc en 3 silly comic relief characters. And i kept the socialist propaganda down this time.
Aug 18, 2019 at 8:06am
I haven't been in Rejectee Therapy recently since I haven't been on the pilot selection panel this year but just found your thread because I didn't like the disparaging comment you left on the Chess page about The Bachelor but with Dads. But seeing that you have self proclaimed "bad english", I'm going to assume maybe you meant it as a joke and I read your tone wrong. But now I'm here and I've watched your pilot and would like to give feedback on your feedback to Brett's feedback.
First, I wanna take a moment to explain how pilot selection works at Channel 101 because based on some of your questions, I think you may be confused. The live audience watches the ten shows and votes on their five favorites. Those five become the primetime show and they get to make another episode AND they become "the panel" and they watch all the submitted pilots and pick which new pilots screen the following month. So there is no mandate from above, there is no "channel101" that decides what we are looking for. It's just five or so people in a room, seeing what makes them laugh (or something else if the pilot isn't a comedy). Brett was obviously on the panel because his show was voted back the previous month and will be on the panel once more for the August screening. I know it sucks to get rejected but the answer is not to focus on visual gags or to try to chase something that Brett specifically likes. Always focus on what you like and hopefully that will strike a chord with the panel.
I can't speak for Brett but I'm assuming the reason he didn't specifically mention a lot of stuff you are asking about is because he didn't think it was funny and was being polite. I'll be more blunt -- what you refer to as syntactical humor and satire just wasn't funny or clever or interesting. And I say this as a staunch leftist. I wasn't on the panel but I promise you, they understood the jokes and satire.
I agree with Brett that you need to focus on story. I don't know what this show is and I don't know what episode two would look like. Start with a character and give that character a clear goal and put obstacles in the way. And make your jokes better. Everything is forgiven if it makes people laugh.
Aug 07, 2019 at 9:08pm
I thank you for taking the time to help us out over here.
However as feedback on the feedback, it seems like the only thing that worked where the visual gags and not as much the syntaxical humor like "why they got to put the freaking socialist door on the right?", or "the council of the guardians of the galaxy, f.y.i. we were first, we got a copyright on the name".
We asumed channel 101 enjoied the 'spoken' form of humor since it invites people with acces to only low production value, meaning visual comedy is mostly of the table.
Since we heard nothing about the satire in the piece, the symbolism and the overall message, we asume that that is not what channel 101 is looking for? Meaning we should be working on the visual gags?
Whit satire, symbolism and message we mean respectively:
-the segeants stripes changeing to an oil drop (satire on american emperialism)
-how the 'white' bunny talks, in contrast to the 'black' bear (symbolises the absurdness of labeling race and its aspects)
-the ignorant protagonist cousing trouble by having a strong opinion without knowing anything about both sides of the conflict (message: selfexplanatory)
Most Kind regards from Bram
Jul 27, 2019 at 4:26pm
Regarding the criticisms you addressed, I honestly found your English to be fine. If anything, your accents were charming. However, I do agree with clarity. It’s hard to spark curiosity when we don’t know what to be curious about. Settling on more of a concrete idea and studying up on story structure could really help. Would recommend googling “Dan Harmons Story Circle”.
Here’s what worked for me. The intro, I enjoyed its high intensity and style. I also enjoyed when the bear threw a remote control at the other bear and his army hat popped off. That joke did well in the room. Outside of that, the jokes weren’t landing with the panel. Especially with the bunny character.
Jul 27, 2019 at 12:06am
Well, made a pilot, rejected pilot, that's why i'm here.
The following i am already asuming:
The latter of which was planned since it is a pilot and it should spark couriosity.
Jul 25, 2019 at 5:16pm
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