Rejectee Therapy for Feedback for "House Ghost"
Started by Daniel Matheson on Jul 29, 2019
  • Thanks a lot for your input guys. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.

    Iím really glad that there is some potential there and that I got some laughs, thatís awesome.
    This is the first animation I have made so it was a bit of a learning experience.

    Would you recommend writing a second episode with a different premise for a new submission or would you move onto a new concept altogether?
    Jul 30, 2019 at 4:18am
  • Matt Hill says:
    I think there is a lot of promise here--
    1. the animation is solid
    2. the voice acting is pretty good.

    That is the raw materials to make a great show.

    The main issues I see (everything is subjective tho)
    1. The story. The story doesn't start until half way in. We get a whole spider bit that doesn't pay off.
    2. The jokes. The jokes were lacking. A few were even off-putting (using transexual as a pejorative, an Austin Powers reference in 2019).

    Hone your story and punch up your script and you'll have yourself a good show.
    Jul 29, 2019 at 10:17pm
  • I got rejected twice this month so take my critique with a heaping grain of salt.

    But I liked your pilot! It seems kinda aimless with a weak protagonist but then you summon Miriam and she got the biggest laugh from me when she did the thing after he said the thing and then it ended. So structurally sound imho! You successfully told your joke.

    There are some painfully obvious animation glitches that hurt the presentation which I wish you would have fixed in editing but overall I like the animation / sound / titles / etc. I would however recommend meeting a friend to add some vocal variety and have fun doing it with friends.

    I also don't like the title. How about "Laundry Ghost"? Or "Haunted Dryer"?

    These are nitpicks and I don't mean to be a Negative Nancy. I mostly want to say kudos. Congrats. LOL. Your video made me laugh and that's the highest compliment I can give. Keep submitting! We'll both get them next month!
    Jul 29, 2019 at 8:42am
  • Thanks for watching! I would greatly appreciate some feedback.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Uwa0j8JC0s&feature=youtu.be
    Jul 29, 2019 at 1:22am
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