Feedback for "Slow Killer"
on Aug 29, 2019
The panel liked this one a lot. In many ways it is a classic 101 show. Funny title that tells you exactly what the show is.
I think we just wanted the story to progress more and the premise explored a little more.
But this was great, keep making stuff.
Sep 02, 2019 at 6:33pm
I thought this had a lot of potential. Please keep submitting. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Aug 31, 2019 at 3:20am
This video rocks. Very funny! I especially like the Redbox scene, sound effects and the dialog with the male friend.
My main critique is that your main character doesn't go through an arc and doesn't want anything. She starts out being chased and runs away, talks about how she was chased and ran away the night before, and then is chased and runs away. Even the guy just goes from not believing in a monster to accepting it. That's Call to Adventure/Refusal of the Call which is Act 1 of a story but your video just ends there. So it feels like the first 3 minutes of a pilot instead of a full episode with a beginning, middle and end. (https://channel101.fandom.com/wiki/Story_Structure_101:_Super_Basic_Shit)
I also love the idea of adding a scene teasing the next episode but didn't like the clip you made for it. I would much rather have seen your leads make pineapple cake than heads crappily pasted onto Conan O'Brien footage. So something that was supposed to make me want to see more did the opposite.
But overall, I really liked it. Your characters and concept are strong so study story structure and apply it to your next video and you will hopefully be accepted. Good luck and keep creating!
Aug 30, 2019 at 2:38am
Hey guys, I'd appreciate your feedback on my pilot https://vimeo.com/355671422/6a5f5dfafa thanks!
Aug 29, 2019 at 6:42am
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