on May 29, 2012
MC pretty much got to the core of why the show was rejected: it has tons of potential, but needs execution on the story side. As a viewer, I got whiplashed watching the show. It jumps from beat to beat to beat without a larger story to support it. You have almost two episodes of material jammed into one pilot.
High-energy shows do well, but my advice would be to slow down a little. Let us get to know the world you're creating before we're tossed right into the middle of it. In your description of the show below, you said the henchmen were "constantly beat up by superheroes," but I didn't get that from watching the show. Your premise was strong, but I don't think it was established as well as it could have been.
You guys have the skill set to make really good stuff, technically and comedically. Look forward to seeing more in the future!
Jun 04, 2012 at 4:03pm
Tons of character and personality in this, but almost zero story. Nothing advances or evolves or changes. I feel like I know so much about these guys, yet I haven't gone anywhere with them. There was a TON I liked about this pilot, and though I wasn't on the panel, I'm next to positive this didn't get in because of the unresolved nature of the story and characters.
It might help if we knew what these guys need to improve their lives, and what they can do as henchmen to obtain it. We know that all three of your central characters are damaged people, but we need to know what they need to solve their problems, and how they change when they try to find that thing they need. You hooked me, but you have to reel me in before that five minute mark comes.
May 29, 2012 at 8:00pm
My friends and I created this short about the henchmen constantly beat up by superheroes. Let me know which parts work and which parts bomb. Thanks for your time! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVF8e5qPKII
May 29, 2012 at 9:25am
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